Things I Learned from Carrie Bradshaw

Sometimes it’s easier to tackle the everyday challenges of life by pretending to be in someone else’s shoes. Whether it be something as simple as figuring out how the blasted percolator works at the office, to telling that guy you’re just not that into him. Most of the time it’s easier to have an out of body experience, and for a moment it’s someone else’s problem. Most of the time I find myself asking anyone who will listen “what would Carrie Bradshaw do?”

Originally published on the 04.12.17

I discovered Sex and the City later in life; I had most of my 20-something friends tell me (up until quite recently) they couldn’t believe I had never seen it. That mine and Carrie’s lives had so many similarities, that it was almost comical I had never seen the show. After binging on series 1-6 in under 2 months, I was hooked. So much so, I got myself straight on Depop and purchased my now ‘never leave home without it staple’ Miss February Playboy necklace, in homage to Miss Bradshaw herself. With that in mind, I’ve comprised the 4 most influential things that Carrie taught me.

1. Don’t trust men, trust good shoes 

 Mock all you like, but I have never felt like I could take on the world more than when I’m wearing my sassiest pair of high heels. Okay so my bank balance doesn’t quite yet support Manolo Blahnik’s, but when I’m wearing my favourite pair of shoes and I’ve just bossed my first meeting before 11am, I can almost feel myself getting closer to walking in Carrie’s second hand stilettos.

2. Don’t settle

In work, in life, or in love – because you’re worth more than that. Live life the way you want to live it, don’t objectify yourself or let the judgement of others get to you in this evolving social media world. Also remember your idea of settling might be someone’s idea of heaven. Don’t cast your shade upon others especially when you don’t want to be judged yourself. Don’t be that girl. Just embrace your own little world, and work on you. Refuse to settle for anything less than butterflies.

3. Don’t forget to fall in love with yourself first

I wouldn’t have met the love of my life without Sex and the City; fact. I wandered through life, awash with the mistakes of the men of ghosts past, thinking that a man would come along and save me (something not so easy to admit…) People would always say to me ‘the right guy will come along, when you least expect him’ – do one. The best piece of advice I was ever given was the longest relationship you have in life, is the relationship with yourself. You’ve got to love no1 before you can love anyone else. It’s a battle everyday, some days I really don’t like me (something again, not so easy to admit).

It was only when I fully accepted who I was as a person, and I was happy just doing me, was when I met the one. I don’t think I would have approached him first, without Carrie’s voice ringing in my ears. For me to walk over to a man, ask him for his number, and wait eagerly for a reply, was not in my nature. The fact I didn’t care if he said no – that’s what pushed me to ask him. I would have been okay, even if he didn’t want me because well, I still did.

4. Friends first, men second

So this isn’t always at the forefront of Carrie’s thoughts; like when she doesn’t meet the girls for breakfast one episode, because ‘it’s cold and she want’s to stay in with the Russian’. Really girl? Sometimes I find myself wanting to shake her to her senses through my TV set; but she always seems to realise what’s best for her in the end. I feel myself empathising with Carrie, because I know how it feels to be swept off your feet by a man, or work, or some minuscule un-important thing. Good friends will wait, but really for how long? And why should we expect them to wait for us to reemerge from the ether? My friends have supported me through so many turbulent times, and I can honestly say I wouldn’t be the woman I am today without them. Carrie taught me to always value my Samantha, Charlotte, Miranda and even my Stanford.

In hindsight, is it such a compliment being compared to Carrie Bradshaw? It is what some might say, a back-handed compliment. She certainly has her flaws, but isn’t that what makes her human? Carrie embraces elements of womanhood that some femmes I know would never dare to conquer. I can think of worse TV icons to be compared to, so I’ll strive to be a little bit more like my idol, she’s taught me so much thus far. What’s stopping me now?

Have you ever felt a strong association to a TV character? Or even an avid Sex and the City Fan? Let me know in the comments below.